User blog:Beerman8299/Columbo vs. Magnum P.I.
'Battle' COLUMBO VS. MAGNUM P.I. BEGIN! Here's the beat I chose for this. The battle starts at 0:40. I chose this one because it reminds me of the Magnum P.I. theme song. So if you have never heard that, I suggest listening to it before listening to this beat so you get a better sense as to why I chose. 'Lyrics' Columbo Come in here, dear boy, have a cigar. You can't win just by relying on your car. That red wedge is just a chariot for your mustache. I'm a Pinball Wizard and my raps are witchcraft. You ain't half as powerful as the real .44 Magnum Are your Vietnam flashbacks causing you to spasm? You're a rip-off of 5-O and a Rockford Files wannabe. And your reboot threatens your friendship with Higgins, Wright, and T.C. The only good thing about your show is the theme song. And in my personal opinion it was 8 seasons too long. Magnum P.I. We've heard enough from you now, so you can pipe it down Sherlock And to get right into it, you had a basset hound named "Dog" "This Old Man" can't even remember his own episodes. That's about as sad as the failed spin off Mrs. Columbo I'm making it rain, so hang onto that trench coat. You may be married now but you were gay for Joe DiMaggio. I'm a Private Eye, you're a Lieutenant Glass-eye. Did Rocket Raccoon pull it out of his ass like your potato in a tailpipe? You never see your wife, and neither do we. For all we know she could be with other men, or maybe even me. I'm staying tropical and topical, you ain't even an obstacle. You never blink on a case, you're way too methodical. You need a Hawaiian vacation to get out of your stressful line of work. And who ever said I wanted to be like Jim Rockford? You are failing epically at this celebrity roast. So go on and get out of here in your souped-down Peugeot. Columbo Ah jeez, my mistake, I guess you were right. But you're still a straight, no AIDS, Freddy Mercury lookalike. Your adventures are 'bout as far-fetched as Starsky and Hutch. I'm disconnecting your transmissions by removing your Ferrari's clutch. I admire your choice of music, from Beethoven to Styx. But when comparing your manly mustache to Chuck Norris...it ain't got shit. Oh and before you go, I just have one more thing, sir. You wouldn't be in the position you're in if is wasn't for Robin Masters. Magnum P.I. Listen up grandpa, why don't you read me a bedtime story? You ate more egg rolls as a kid than you did with cannelloni. I'm a Detroit Tigers man, you're a fan of the Yankees How have you found time to perfect your veal scaloppine? You spoke Italian but said you only took Spanish. When it comes down to the crime you get kinda squeamish. I'm burning both calories and you working out on my surf ski Your destruction in this battle will become the world's next mystery. WHO WON? WHO'S NEXT? YOU DECIDE! Who won? Columbo Magnum P.I. This is a change of pace from the others, but here I will present all of the battles that I have not completed, and you guys can vote on which one you want to help me write next. Roger Bacon vs. Aristotle Claude Monet vs. Vincent Van Gogh Samuel Morse vs. Alexander Graham Bell Lee Harvey Oswald vs. John Wilkes Booth Karl Benz vs. Henry Ford Hans Zimmer vs. John Williams Hernan Cortes vs. Augustus Lord Robert Baden Powell vs. Juliette Gordon Low "Weird Al" Yankovic vs. Frankie Yankovic Davy Crockett vs. Daniel Boone General Custer vs. Sitting Bull Harry Potter vs. Frodo Neil Armstrong vs. Chuck Yeager Louis Armstrong vs. Ray Charles John F. Kennedy vs. Fidel Castro Phantom of the Opera vs. Guy Fawkes The Marx Brothers vs. Monty Python Buffalo Bill vs. "Wild Bill" Hickok Charlemagne vs. Martin Luther King Arthur vs. Robin Hood Robin Hood vs. Peter Pan The Fonz vs. Danny Zuko Darth Sidious vs. Lord Voldemort Doctor Strange vs. either Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil Category:Blog posts